#45

when i think of the spike entering my vein it makes me queasy and it makes me wonder how i did it 19 times in one day twice and it also makes me never want to go through that sort of hell again because there aint nothing like the sick feeling you get when that skinny steely needle passes through the epidermis and into the vein and it makes me a little bit nauseous just thinking about it and its one of those things that so repulses me that i just had to say it twice and i will try not to say it again so let me try to think happy thoughts like fairytales and warm spring days and tennis in the park and winning the lottery and a nice pat on the back and a refreshing spring roll and spring break at the beach and i still cant stop thinking about that loathsome needle penetrating my flesh and missing the vein and then digging around trying to find it as it rolls around and me doing everything i can to keep myself from squealing like a little girl and i can feel my mouth turning white around the edges and my back is starting to sweat and my vision is blurring and now its fading to white like those scenes in movies where people die and see god