#32

in the journey of life i dont know if i should go the calm and wise spiritual saint route or the fiery flashing comet that burns out early but leaves an indelible mark on the sky it passes through route but i know those are the only two options that appeal to me because i know i could never lead a corporate life of mediocrity and it is about time for me to choose but i need some catalyst to push me in one direction or the other like a brilliant friend to inspire me to flash or a funny visit from a higher power to make me go sit on the hill and meditate my life away but that sounds so awful cuz there are so many holy things to do in this world and i am greedy to do them all and make myself known but it is hard to keep up the intensity to burn and i fear that one day i may find i have accidentally lapsed into a life of mediocrity and maybe i will read this and regret everything that has happened in my shithole life with my two bedroom apartment and a month pass metrocard and a bunch of premature wrinkles on my forehead and dark circles under my eyes