#162

tell me where you want it and thats where ill put it tell me where you like it and i will deliver tell me where you need it and i will quench your need tell me what you wanna hear and i will tell it to you tell me what it is and i will fix it for you tell me whats wrong and i will comfort you tell me how long and i will make time pass more quickly tell me what youre afraid of and i will slay the monster tell me whats the deal and i will comply tell me who you are and i will admire you tell me how you see me and i will smile tell me when to come and i will obey tell me what is what and i will pretend to understand tell me about your dreams and i will try to follow along tell me what you hear and i will try to hear the same thing tell me why im here and i will try not to blush tell me how many before me and i will try not to be jealous tell me everything and i will be overwhelmed tell it like it is and i will listen like it is tell me some of your secrets and i will keep them to myself tell me wild things and i will treat them like normal tell me boring things and i will fall l asleep tell me you wont hate me if you wake up alone and i will tell you you wont tell me you want to see me again and i will tell you the same

#161

on the bean then off it then on it then off but i cant stay off because everyone always wants to meet me for coffee always coffee in the morning in the afternoon and at night always caffeine always putting fuel in the engine revving it up til it cant go no more and you fall asleep because you flooded the engine you pressed the primer too many times and now you can crank it as much as you want but you aint getting sparks so you just gotta sleep it off let the fuel seep out on its own but you know you gotta eventually prime the motherfucker again to get the engine running so you do it and it works but it dont run the same way somehow it runs weaker and weaker everyday until it gets ridiculous and you say hell i just gotta let the motherfucker rest for a few days before i crank her up again and you resign yourself to getting no work done which is not hard to accomplish if you can fight through the headaches but you know you got to you got to but theres your amigo calling you to meet him out for coffee in the middle of the fucking night and you know youre gonna have some and because its your first time in awhile its gonna keep you up all night long and make you hate everything

#160

opportunity knocks and i answer the door and opportunity is there so when does opportunity satiate me or when does opportunity flower into accomplishment and contentment or is contentment stagnancy and stagnancy death and by extension is opportunity all there is to life until i am ready to lay down and die or is death an opportunity in itself and is after life even more opportunity to feed the worms and creepy crawling things who shit us out and fertilize the food we eat because after all we are made of food and we become food so maybe the opportunity is to come to terms with our foodness or maybe the opportunity is to transcend our foodness and decode the complexity of the world using our iphones or maybe the opportunity is to not add to the confusion by becoming a monk and eating less food because the need is not there because i pray all day and try to think of nothing and become nothing not even food just nothingness the lack of anything which sounds a whole lot like death to me and makes me wanna go back to my old ways in which moderation is pointless and aint nothing worth doing unless you take it all the way so when opportunity knocks you gotta take it in the gut

#159

adios cigarillos i shall miss you as i lock down into business mode and clean up my everything and grease my parts so i can run clean and energized into a brave new future with nothing but my clean new energy to drive me to glory in clean and handsome style into a house on bad boy row on mulholland drive with a view of the flats where i can see my struggle from above and where i can play my music as loud as i want without disturbing anybody but the birds who fly in clean patterns to remind me of the freedom i have earned and who perch proudly on wires to remind me of the fear i left behind and i will write greater and grander and messier things to fuck up my clean new world and to remind the humans that every life is a wretched and beautiful terror and my friends will be plentiful and free as we sit in the sun and fight our demise with smiles and celebrate our wrinkles and dig deeper into the mire of our wretched and beautifully terrible lives and we talk about the times before bad boy row when we saw no hope and we will reminisce without nostalgia but remember fondly the times when we smoked cigarettes and our royal dreams were just fantasies