#94

mary rose standing in a blizzard heat wave in shorts and a down jacket with hair covering her burning legs in a sprint to apartheid south africa around the time madiba is released among great burning civil unrest in a country thats cold in our summer with the blood diamonds of the mind dripping red into the pelvic consciousness thrusting about in the snowstorm dodging snowflakes like cornflakes in a grain silo emerging unscathed only to find herself before john the revelator and his gates of heaven that are each a single pearl harvested from the life force of oysters by angry sardines and strung and given to girls on long island as holiday presents to take up to newport when the weather turns warm at the midnight hour when the crotch is so hot you must let the steam escape before your insides boil in the freezing rain and your string of pearls burst onto the ice at her feet shod with diamond soled shoes as durable as a papier mache dump truck on the sun five light years from another star in empty cold space filled to the brim with void and burning emptiness and soul trash jettisoned into space because the ghost world is too full here on earth where mary roses lungs are burning from the cold air at midnight on new years in new york alone in the vomiting crowd on forty second street and cold and cold and cold

#93

subway preacher brought a crony to shout amen and hallelujah to his sermon like johnny carson brought ed mcmahon to laugh at his jokes but it has no effect on the subway crowd of commuters staring past each others heads at the walls at the ads at the headlines on other peoples papers half curious about whats playing on other peoples ipods but certain words power through the banality due to emphatic decibels like church and lord and jesus and awesome and then they step off the train and disappear into the noise of the station bound for another train to preach their words and i wonder if either of these fellows would have come up with these sermons and words of praise if no one had ever drilled into their heads from the time they could comprehend the irrefutability of gods word and the power of jesus or if instead of being born in crown heights they were born wealthy and comfortable in a mansion in beverly hills with celebrity fathers and the ability to make their whims reality or in that case would they be fat on a couch or on a date or in a private plane or on a chartered sailboat in greece or would they be right in the same place on a seven thirty train from brooklyn to manhattan stumbling over the words of their inspiration and doing their best to convince themselves as much as anybody else that what they are saying is true

#92

i evolved from a communist botanist who studied flowers at the north pole so she had plenty of time to dilly dally with the natives like walruses and humpback whales and other snowy sea creatures which i have no idea exist in her neck of the woods and then one day she met a mystical fat drunk in a red suit with a drunken reindeer and he cast a spell on her and took her back to his lair where he filmed the botanist being sodomized by elves then posted it online for all the world to see but that was three thousand years before anyone else had the internet and the language that they spoke at the north pole is no longer around nor are their old keyboards with their languages letters on it so its impossible to get to the web address where the video is posted but anyway one of the elves impregnated the botanist who i forgot to mention was a giantess and their offspring were middle sized folks that neither the elves nor the giantess botanist cared for so they put about two hundred of these middling children in a boat and the boat drifted to the white cliffs of dover where the passengers got out and kissed the soil like it mattered to them and then they went forth and multiplied and formed religious factions and some sailed west for freedom and the religion part was pretty much forgotten so thats really where i come from

#91

time has a way of putting you in your place even if your place is a highrise penthouse in a concrete jungle of crackerbox toy guns and holy rollers in a turkish bath between the wall and a black hole ten micrometers wide that sucks you in like a vacuum cleaner with jet engines that took leonardo da vinci from zero to genius in three point seven seconds on a bull named fu manchu after a desperate parachuting venture designed to make you appreciate the life you threw away into a fluorescent cubicle on the fourth floor of a seventy six story building in midtown next door to your penthouse apartment built on the grimy souls of the rats in the subway huddled together in scarves and desperation on new years eve with nowhere to go but drunk and forgetting all the time that nobody saw passing by until it was too late and youre dying of cirrhosis on your nephews couch trying to get that liver to split on open but your shot after shot is just messing with your mind so you get a gun for a real shot and fill the barrel with vodka and put it to your lips and realize that the cool metal on your lips goes nicely with the hot filth in your gullet so you do it over and over again until you cant see and you wake up the next morning with a foggy memory of the good time you had the night before

#90

good morning sex and pea shoots why dont you want to come over to greenwich village and have a cuppa joe at a place called cuppa cuppa or a place called joe or we can walk over to seattle and have a macchiato at joe bar next to where i used to live on boylston and mercer near the qfc and golds gym and other corporate landmarks i use instead of longitude and latitude or is it more conventional to say latitude and longitude with latitude first or more importantly who cares about coordinates when we are just trying to figure out where to have our brewed beans in a cup of stringent aroma delusion like you can get at fiorio which is a cafe in torino that ive been to before or maybe that rundown mexican joint in el paso at sunrise where tyler and i stopped to get some breakfast two nights before i got arrested for unruly behavior in austin texas when that ninja bouncer swooped out of right or left field and ripped my shirt off and tried to puncture my kidney with his knuckle sandwich and then he sodomized me in front of a crowd of bewildered wildebeests in the austrian jungle or maybe it was the siberian metropolis of africa but once again all these magnificent details are just superfluous detours on the road to our delicious cup of exotic arabica colombiana mixed blend finely ground pure teetotalin piece of bacon but screw it and lets just go to starbucks

#89

i am casually flying from rome to turin to go to the world premiere of the first feature film i ever wrote as if it is just any other day in the life of a casual man that just turned twenty six two days ago in america though here in italy the time is six hours ahead so that might screw up my equation and throw off the equilibrium of temporal equality as i pour equal amounts of equal and sweet n low and splenda in my imaginary cup of equipoise which tastes like a summer breeze sweeping across the polar ice caps of mars or like some other feeling we can all relate to like casually flying through italian airspace en route to the premiere of your first feature film or eating an entire cloud in one sitting or dying by accidental asphyxiation during masturbation which i believe is often termed autoerotic asphyxiation because it is so common and engaged in so casually by everyone from rock stars to game show hosts to actors to everyone else in the world that you would like to emulate as you masturbate or maybe just in the other areas of your life like the career part because you are what you do and absolutely nothing else because you exist only in your essence and your essence is defined by your actions and your success is determined by the level of your autoerotic asphyxiation

#88

i have never been so aroused by anyone as i was by the cover model for a magazine i saw on the newsstand today that lay back in the grass staring up into the camera lens and out right at me as i walk by and she has this southern sensuality that cant be found in cities or in northern climes or other countries and i think ive literally fallen in love maybe not with this particular girl but with all the loose limbed ladies that hardly sweat when the thermometer reads one hundred that mix their lemonade with sweet tea without calling it arnold palmer that ride dirt bikes just because that wear sun dresses and actually go out in the sun that never wear sunglasses because they dont need them that know how to water ski that have never seen snow in real life that have tan lines and wear flat soled shoes that look right through you when you walk past their photograph on a magazine stand forcing you to hide your little bit of an erection that threatens to give you away to any of those girls that might be near

#87

i flat out asked him i said who are you moondog and he didnt say anything so i asked him again i said who are you and he didnt reply and i said who is moondog and nothing so who is moondog why do you call yourself moondog who is moondog and he started to cry and at the same time he started to cry he started playing his homemade drum thing and he didnt stop for forty five minutes and then it was clear why he called himself moondog because he is not of this planet and yet he still communicates possibly more clearly than any other being i have ever come into contact with

#86

i made the mistake of watching bad education with my parents last night and everyone was disgusted by the transsexual blow jobs and anal sex for some reason while i was enthralled by the overwhelming beauty of the motion picture that i have seen so many times and i wonder if my parents think that i am gay because i like almodovar movies so much or if they would feel differently about my homosexuality than my sisters since for some reason it is easier to accept for many people that a friend or relative is a lesbian than a maricon or if maybe they would just brush it off i doubt they would brush it off because i cant see my dad not being disgusted by anal sex or giving another guy a blow job because he is a very repressed dude that has probably had sex with only one woman in his whole life or if he has had multiple partners that is a different side of the man than i have ever seen because he seems to have even lost the affection of my mother to a large degree

#85

sheep may safely graze is the tune on my radio and a good weird tune it is by mister elder bach that oh so venerable man of notes and harmonies that i wish i could have known yesteryear in old austria or wherever he was from and when i think of bach trivia my mind wanders to the musicologists biography of mister js bach that i tried to read shortly after i finished producing my first movie about a young couples descent into marriage and the worse than ennui feeling of being trapped in a relationship that is killing you but you are sucked in so deep that you cant even be reminded that there is life outside of the relationship like being caught in a tornado that is blowing exactly zero miles an hour for eternity like a stagnant whirlwind or a centrifuge where you are plastered to a wall of doubt and i am at a loss for words i must work on my wit

#84

owls hoot out of superstition say the most informed sources and i am inclined to believe the most informed of those among us because who am i to claim to know that i am more qualified to speak of an esoteric subject such as owls than an owl expert because what kind of avian nut would specialize in owls rather than all birds because exactly how different are owls than the rest of the avian pack and is it really that much more trouble to specialize in all birdkind as it strikes me as a bit overspecialized to limit ones specialty to a class within a class like that and its sort of like the writers who arent just poets but they are not just formalist poets but they are some sort of rarefied breed of conceptual language formalist poets and it gets to the point that the labels make everything meaningless and i just want to meet somebody who is a specialist in nonspecialty and is proud of it

#83

now that i have my new typewriter i can use my laptop only to listen to the beautiful music that my online radio produces while i while away my days listening to said music and typing on my cranky loud typewriter which i do very much enjoy listening to it its own right with the clackety clack of the thingamajigger pounding away with a melodious thunk as said the wife of thelonius monk when asked to describe the sound of his playing and that monk guy sure could play but why am i talking about monk now when there is so much more new music from my generation that i could be talking about instead of reminiscing about the beauty of a past generation and sounding like the writers of olden times like jack and ken and those old beatnik fogeys that probably wrote on manual typewriters much less advanced than this brother correctronic gx-6750 electronic antique that i am currently writing on but my mind strays from my original topic which was something that is now lost in the clouds and its better to abandon something in its initial stages than to spend hours upon hours trying to remember what you set out to do in the first place