#124

nothing is forever except the past said that poor son of a bitch as he looked down to the hudson from the rooftop of his sixth avenue apartment and then he looked south down into greenwich village and took a long sip of his wild turkey and thought about his college days swimming naked in the washington square fountain and sex in the stalls at taverns with women he barely knew and didnt care to know he let out a big sigh and turned to the woman next to him with whom he had been in love the last time he looked over but not anymore it seemed she was nothing to him anymore but a stranger and a gloomy reminder that his youth was behind him and the wrinkles were starting to spread like spiderwebs around his mouth and eyes and up to his steadily growing forehead he looked east and stopped for a second to consider how soft and pink the sky gets at the end of a warm day and the sun has abandoned the east in favor of the west and he wondered if his problem was that his day hadnt been warm enough but he came to no conclusions he looked back at the woman and decided she would have to do for now

#123

hey girl where exactly did this come from us falling for each other and then things getting complicated within twenty four hours of the start of it all curses to whoever is responsible for this and a pox on gods balls just for good measure now i wish we were together again in my bed or yours because they both worked all right and moving in rhythm with each other like two halves of one ecstatic body and what a body you have just perfection my georgia rose with strawberry blond hair and everything about you is sweetness from your voice to your breath to your taste to the touch of your skin to your words to your eyes to the looks we shared and your sweet sweet smile oh glory when i fly away i hope to find myself in your arms in the by and by when we kissed i knew and you knew and sometimes things like this happen we were told by fairy tales and hollywood and it happened to happen to us in real life but now it looks like its all over because of circumstance because of the chance shitstains on our random histories and the people we each know so i am trying to convince myself to appreciate the whole thing like a comet or like any of the other godforsaken love affairs of mine that have ended this same cursed way

#122

morning new york at the hollywood diner and a cup of watery joe in front of me on the bar a sausage and egg sandwich on the way and a full day of work ahead of me and i will probably never feel better than i do right now but i am restless and cant help it i am leaving this paradise and going to the garden of eden in los angeles and then i think i need something new for awhile like el paso or washington dc or hawaii or florida or mexico or argentina or just something new because i havent done anything crazy and new since paris really because i dont count providence because i was there to work and new york is definitely my favorite city in the world and one can never know every in and out of the city but one can feel the heart of it like any city except los angeles and i need a new heart maybe austin could renew me or maybe i need a traveling job that will send me all over the place so i am never at home and thats whats at the bottom of it i am sick of being at home

#121

a southern gentleman does not crap on his friends head when his friend isnt looking nor does he murder people without motivation nor does he cross the street without looking both ways nor does he rape other peoples house cats nor does he twist the knife after the torture victim has made his confession nor does he eat chinese food alone on thanksgiving nor does he parade as mussolini in july and promote genocide nor does he fund snuff films nor does he let a stray piece of egg salad get stuck in his mustache nor does he practice soccer using an immigrants head as the ball nor does he embezzle funds from charitable organizations nor does he let a lady open a door for herself nor does he roll drunks just for the rush nor does he arrange homosexual orgies in his secret house in the bad part of town nor does he forget which spoon is the correct one to use for soup nor does he carelessly spread his venereal diseases to his friends wives nor does he masturbate in public toilets nor does he keep nightcrawlers in his pocket for no reason at all nor does he fart on the proctologist when the proctologist is giving him a rectal exam nor does he curse in the presence of the fairer sex

#120

i would like it to be publicly known that i am pathologically unable to turn down an invitation if i dont have a conflict so my schedule gets eaten up by a string of engagements half of which are joyful occurrences and the other half teeth pulling nail biting exercises in boredom endurance with people i dont really know or whose company i dont enjoy so since i have diagnosed my illness i would like everyone whose company i dont enjoy to quit inviting me to do things with them and not just for my sake but for all yours as well because if i am finding our conversations excruciatingly laborious you cant be having a good time i mean i get so bored i am incapable of making the least interesting comment and certainly nothing witty or astute escapes from my mouth in these situations because my mind turns soft and the blood supply gets cut off and a keen depression concentrates into a point between my eyes and gives me a migraine of hopelessness which certainly must show on my face so in conclusion please just stop inviting me out and there will be more hope in the world and children of all colors will be fucking in the streets in the morning

#119

creeping christ i dont want the wild turkey but i will take it anyway because i am the enablers enabler and i will make sure that the chaos comes from within all three of us and not just me because there is only so much that one man can do but if you get three of us together and fuel us with admiral nelsons firefly wild turkey then you have a grisly force that might break into spontaneous lancing bouts in the median of philadelphias busiest thoroughfare or fall face first on a freeway exit ramp or try to bring women home with it even though the force resides two and a half hours away or spend more than it can afford but not regret it because this is one for the history books and i recorded it all posing as a reporter from the new york times and revealing myself as an ignorant fraud at every turn but no one cared because we were so much fun and they liked us there and they liked the chaos and the freedom of madness and they liked answering my questions into the dictaphone knowing that we would listen back to the recordings and hear their voices and opinions and we would laugh

#118

theres a smoothie on my boobie said the duchess of earl a dashing young lady of seventeen and it just so happened that the duke was in london on business so i the duchesss clothier was left to suck that blueberry smoothie off her royal pink nipple like a puppy goes for mothers milk but keeping within the realm of propriety i stopped sucking when the smoothie was gone from that cold and erect nipple then i turned around and went about my business and not a second later i heard theres some smoothie on my cooter and i whipped around and burrowed beneath the duchesss dress and wore her crotch like a horse wears a feed bag for hours and hours her thighs clamped around my ears deafening me to her orgasmic screams her feet pressed against my back pulling me in closer as if i could get any closer than having my face halfway inside her but i tried and for a moment i imagined myself swimming inside her exploring her feminine tunnels in a jules verne sort of way just curious and fascinated at every turn all the savagery of sex replaced by the cold comfort of science but then she pushed me back and dumped the rest of her smoothie down my pants and said theres a smoothie on your weewee

#117

hey singer hey singer i love you get on off that stage and stop singing our song to all these schmucks in the audience and we can go back to my place and when i want a show you will sing in my ear and after you finish we will make love and then we will shower and then drink wild turkey on the river bank and look up at the clouds that mingle briefly with our cigarette smoke every time we exhale and we will nap for a little bit and when we wake up we can do whatever we want like go back to my place and make love all over the place or we can meet up with friends before we go back to my place and make love all over the place and dont forget we can always go back to your place and make love all over the place any one of those options will work for me but you have to promise that you will sing for me every now and then and not let our lovemaking get in the way of what made me fall in love with you oh that voice and that mouth and your eyes and your hips and your shoulders hey singer i love you get on off that stage and we can do whatever we want

#116

i am exhausted like a tail pipe an engine running on fumes uphill in the rain in a foreign place where the law tells you to drive on the weird side of the road and even when you know its right it feels wrong and you slip up and the cops pull you over and ask you questions in a tongue you cant understand or even place because you woke up in this car with no recollection of the past month and it might be switzerland or germany or argentina or nepal but you dont recognize the language its indecipherable and the cops uniform is blue like in america but its definitely not america so you just throw up your hands in frustration but the cop is startled by your sudden movement and pulls his gun on you and you slump back in your seat resigned to die in some unknown foreign land but he doesnt shoot he just slowly backs up all the way to his car keeping his eyes on you the whole time then he gets in his car and pulls away so after a few weird seconds fascinated by the absence of adrenaline you turn the key in the ignition and drive up and up but it gets suddenly dark and theres no sign of humanity and your eyelids are heavy so you pull over to the shoulder of the road in this strange land and give in