#133

one fish suckfish shark coming now to get swallowed up by a killer whale and out the anus to recombine with its plankton brethren lap around the globe from pole to pole frigid water ring the world equal latitude straits and storms on a submarine of scales and bones and guts prey hunted by an angry sea of darkness just below the surface hidden depths with ghoulish angler fish dangling the light to you swinging it fishing for idiots like a car salesman in atlantis twenty percent off free mats never been driven off the lot just buy it if you dont somebody will come on travel on to the reef and swim with the warm weather freaks why does good weather always attract such losers in their colorful clothes there should be one reef in the world where they dont allow douchebags but thats not the case so back to the gulf stream not bad its temperate and if you like cold weather its only a couple of miles and head inland if you want the west is stormy in the winter but its better than the arctic or the goddam reefs and a whole helluva lot better than being trapped in one of those net farms

#132

its raining in sunny la up in laurel canyon as i try to quit smoking in this perfect coffee and cigarette weather with the smoky mist out over the hills and a damp seattle fifty four degrees aching for coffee in the air the smell is weak without the tobacco and without the magic bean and my jaw is tensing up thinking about these life giving elements that death loves so well and i am about to break and go get some dunhills but i wait i am fine it must be those damn vitamins i took making my heart beat fast and my toes tap and my eyes dart and my thoughts race man it feels like adderall but it is nothing but one of the last desperate stages of withdrawal pleading for a fix telling me how nice it would be to have just a little of this and a little of that just once just to ease off the stuff you know you dont wanna just quit cold turkey because you will feel awful its better to wean yourself so just go buy a pack and smoke one and put the rest in the drawer and you can give them to your smoker friends or just have one whenever its rainy and cold like today

#131

cigarette cigarette no cigarettes headache plus no coffee headache the horror the pain the pain in the puss for godsake i have withdrawal symptoms which means i was addicted which means the nicotine and the caffeine were not having as much effect per dosage as when i first started hammering the black and tar the bean and leaf which means when i have my next dose of cafe i am gonna be crazy and i am gonna shit my pants so i should wear an old ratty pair of underwear so i dont spoil a good pair because i cant afford new underwear right now i should write that down on an index card and tape it to the wall behind my computer so i dont forget just like i did with that note card there now to remind me to write harvey a check for 13.65 which is such a pitiful amount and i have to call millie the accountant to whom i need to sign over power of attorney but i dont wanna think about such bullshit right now because i have a fuckin headache which i know will go away in two more days if i stick to it i will

#130

the leopard image sticks with me as a black flag waves on the system and the coiled sex attacks like a leopard without knowledge of its frightful grace and pearly fangs and sweet blood from the veins on its tongue it doesnt even care it doesnt want blood or food it just has to be graceful and violent because thats what it is a pretty little hate machine it doesnt know it has spots it lunges without calculation but some emotion some joyless satisfaction of an instinct a beautiful kill it stalks like it was made of black fire flicking tongue motionlessly moving too fast to see or too slow to detect unpredictable scary and so violent so why so pretty why cant you not admire the pretty hate machine of long coiled muscle and deceitful coat and dagger teeth aimed for your heart the violence the crime of it the pure crime of it all yet he is better than all the rest of us put together that violent fuck that hateful killer of innocent things that beautiful beast

#129

there is a hawk tooth stuck in my craw and iggy pee in my ee are that is all folks musicologist on a long and winding road to hell with no possible escape on hades horizon orpheus prancing around like little richard on goofballs making fun of his friends that have to use walkers to amble around and around we go on a merry go round of dream fears and a leopard on stage that doesnt know how beautiful it is as it stalks and lurks and screams search and destroy and rise above all this meaningless shee it that is where our program comes to an end to be continued on the next installment of meaningless bull run in pamplona and ernie hemingway drinking from a wineskin like a basque nomad no gonad main character named barnes or something is better than nothing said fannie farmer from in utero the baby passed into the next next world yup straight from the inside to the other side where things are even more boring than womb life because there is no other side just dirt and worms and silverfish and slugs or biohazard bags and dumpsters