#88

i have never been so aroused by anyone as i was by the cover model for a magazine i saw on the newsstand today that lay back in the grass staring up into the camera lens and out right at me as i walk by and she has this southern sensuality that cant be found in cities or in northern climes or other countries and i think ive literally fallen in love maybe not with this particular girl but with all the loose limbed ladies that hardly sweat when the thermometer reads one hundred that mix their lemonade with sweet tea without calling it arnold palmer that ride dirt bikes just because that wear sun dresses and actually go out in the sun that never wear sunglasses because they dont need them that know how to water ski that have never seen snow in real life that have tan lines and wear flat soled shoes that look right through you when you walk past their photograph on a magazine stand forcing you to hide your little bit of an erection that threatens to give you away to any of those girls that might be near

#87

i flat out asked him i said who are you moondog and he didnt say anything so i asked him again i said who are you and he didnt reply and i said who is moondog and nothing so who is moondog why do you call yourself moondog who is moondog and he started to cry and at the same time he started to cry he started playing his homemade drum thing and he didnt stop for forty five minutes and then it was clear why he called himself moondog because he is not of this planet and yet he still communicates possibly more clearly than any other being i have ever come into contact with

#86

i made the mistake of watching bad education with my parents last night and everyone was disgusted by the transsexual blow jobs and anal sex for some reason while i was enthralled by the overwhelming beauty of the motion picture that i have seen so many times and i wonder if my parents think that i am gay because i like almodovar movies so much or if they would feel differently about my homosexuality than my sisters since for some reason it is easier to accept for many people that a friend or relative is a lesbian than a maricon or if maybe they would just brush it off i doubt they would brush it off because i cant see my dad not being disgusted by anal sex or giving another guy a blow job because he is a very repressed dude that has probably had sex with only one woman in his whole life or if he has had multiple partners that is a different side of the man than i have ever seen because he seems to have even lost the affection of my mother to a large degree

#85

sheep may safely graze is the tune on my radio and a good weird tune it is by mister elder bach that oh so venerable man of notes and harmonies that i wish i could have known yesteryear in old austria or wherever he was from and when i think of bach trivia my mind wanders to the musicologists biography of mister js bach that i tried to read shortly after i finished producing my first movie about a young couples descent into marriage and the worse than ennui feeling of being trapped in a relationship that is killing you but you are sucked in so deep that you cant even be reminded that there is life outside of the relationship like being caught in a tornado that is blowing exactly zero miles an hour for eternity like a stagnant whirlwind or a centrifuge where you are plastered to a wall of doubt and i am at a loss for words i must work on my wit

#84

owls hoot out of superstition say the most informed sources and i am inclined to believe the most informed of those among us because who am i to claim to know that i am more qualified to speak of an esoteric subject such as owls than an owl expert because what kind of avian nut would specialize in owls rather than all birds because exactly how different are owls than the rest of the avian pack and is it really that much more trouble to specialize in all birdkind as it strikes me as a bit overspecialized to limit ones specialty to a class within a class like that and its sort of like the writers who arent just poets but they are not just formalist poets but they are some sort of rarefied breed of conceptual language formalist poets and it gets to the point that the labels make everything meaningless and i just want to meet somebody who is a specialist in nonspecialty and is proud of it

#83

now that i have my new typewriter i can use my laptop only to listen to the beautiful music that my online radio produces while i while away my days listening to said music and typing on my cranky loud typewriter which i do very much enjoy listening to it its own right with the clackety clack of the thingamajigger pounding away with a melodious thunk as said the wife of thelonius monk when asked to describe the sound of his playing and that monk guy sure could play but why am i talking about monk now when there is so much more new music from my generation that i could be talking about instead of reminiscing about the beauty of a past generation and sounding like the writers of olden times like jack and ken and those old beatnik fogeys that probably wrote on manual typewriters much less advanced than this brother correctronic gx-6750 electronic antique that i am currently writing on but my mind strays from my original topic which was something that is now lost in the clouds and its better to abandon something in its initial stages than to spend hours upon hours trying to remember what you set out to do in the first place